Cloudy

I don't know why, but things seem cloudy and unclear at the moment. I usually push away people who like me. Am I beginning to feel uncomfortable around you because you might be beginning to like me genuinely? I really don't want that to be the case because I actually had hopes that this might possibly work out. It's so odd because over the weekend and Monday I couldn't stop thinking about that almost kiss and all those times we were so close to each other. And suddenly on Tuesday when we were cuddling, I just felt so irritated and I wanted it to stop. Maybe that's because we were around people and I usually don't like an audience when cutesy, flirty stuff happens. I think a reason why it bothers me so much is because that's what people do when they're serious about each other and I don't want to think about being serious or established or anything of the sort. If we're interested in each other, my preference would probably to keep our relationship the same and not go out or become bf/gf. I guess all these thoughts and feelings are because I'm still too young and not mature enough to handle any of this. Love, relationships, and all that stuff still scares the shit out of me. I just don't want to have to deal with it at this age with all this stuff going on. I really hope that my feelings for you don't become cloudy...