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I’m sorry we always have a dilemma about this subject. I don’t want us to have disagreements about hanging out, but I want to do high school girl things at the same time like picking out what to wear for the game and doing each other’s hair and little things like that. I know you’re going to tell me it’s all right and that I should go, but I felt like I needed to say more. And I’m not going to dance with other guys; I wouldn’t do that to you. I understand that we won’t see each other for 2 weeks, but we can always see each other another day cause we make the effort to. But I don’t want to miss another dance or hang out cause those only come around every once in a while. I’m sorry if it still upsets you deep down
What I was thinking about earlier was the dance. Personally I want you to go to the dance, but deep down I know I’m going to get kinda jealous and mad. I know you’re not going to dance with guys, but there’s a possibility that they’ll just go up to you. When I was at the dance I didn’t do anything because it was weird for me. I want you to go but sometimes I just want you for myself, sorry I’m selfish. What I was planning starts when your dance starts.
Okay so be honest, did you plan this because you knew the dance was on the same day?
No I didn’t even hear of the dance until you said it today. I thought of my plans yesterday night when I went home. I wouldn’t do something so selfish.
So we were looking at stars yesterday, but we couldn’t. so I was thinking of taking you to Signal Hill when you get out of school for a picnic, then wait until night time to look at the stars
Wow, I don’t even know what to say. I can’t say no to you.
No, yes you can! Just go to the dance. I’m just surprised that you think so low of me that you think I would plan something to ruin your plans. I’m your boyfriend and you think so low of me. I know I’m not perfect, but come on. Why was that even a possibility? Sorry if I get in the way of everything. To get it off my chest, I was thinking earlier, things change when you’re in a relationship. You start to hang out less with your friends and etc. I was thinking about when you said “I’m my first priority, I do things to make me happy” Well, I do things to make you happy all the time even if I don’t like it, so why can’t you sometimes do the same? Don’t feel like I’m guilt tripping you, I’m not.
I don’t think low of you. I’m sorry what I said was misinterpreted to seem like I do. Since we’re letting everything out, I kinda thought you just didn’t want me to go. I’m thankful that you do all these things to make me happy, but if you don’t want to, then you don’t have to. It’s not going to make me mad if we don’t watch Vampire Diaries because I know you don’t really like that show. And if you don’t want to do something I want to do, just tell me. You should hang out with your friends more too; I don’t want our worlds to just revolve around each others. I want to make you happy, but I want to make my friends happy too. I’m left in such a difficult situation all the time. I don’t know who to pick, but if you noticed, I always end up choosing you
But you don’t always end up choosing me. What are you talking about? Sometimes you choose them. Okay if life is easier without me in the picture, just break up with me. I don’t want you to be torn in two all the time. I’d rather see you happy from afar than see you in misery. So your friends’ happiness is the same as mine? I don’t know but my friends understand that they’re going to see me less and they’re okay with that. I don’t want us to disagree about this anymore. We have been doing it so much lately. I want this to stop. I don’t want to argue and be mad at each other before we go to bed. I’m sorry for being irrational and for planning so far ahead. Even if it kills be inside, I want you to go to the dance.
The truth is I could spend every day of my life with you and be happy. I’m just afraid that if I miss out on the little high school things, I’m going to regret it later on. But don’t think that I’ve ever regretted choosing you, I never have. Why did you even suggest me breaking up with you? Life’s not going to get any easier if I do that. I know you want to make me happy, but arguing is doing just the opposite. You’re not a bad boyfriend; it’s probably a good thing you get jealous like that. And don’t apologize for planning ahead. I’m sorry I thought you did it on purpose. This is our relationship, we need to make each other happy and I don’t want it to kill you inside. I don’t show it all the time, but you don’t realize how much you mean to me.
Why are you trying to make your friends happy? Do things that make you happy. Sorry I’m such a terrible boyfriend, getting jealous and stuff. I want to stop it, but I can’t. I might not show it, but I have never regretted anything I’ve done in my life including anything I did with or for you. I don’t know what to say, but you’re the one for me. You think I’m stupid and naïve, but everything you do makes me smile. You upset me then you kiss my lips then I forgive and can’t remember what you did. You can lighten up my day when everything seems dark. I think it’s good that we’re having little disagreements rather than having stuff pile up and having it all come out at once. I love you Julie. I don’t want us to fight. I’m sorry if you’re tearing up over this. You should sleep; you have to wake up early. I’ll just move the date.
Yea I need to sleep, but I have to finish AP Euro first since I’ve been a little distracted. I don’t want us to fight either; it scares me to know that arguments chip away at our love for each other. At this point, I don’t even care about the dance anymore. The only thing I would regret is not being enough of a teenager. I know we’re mean to be together, I can see it from the way we touch, how we act around each other. You’re my perfectly imperfect half. I’m going to love you forever and that’s a promise.
That last line made me cry. I’m going to love you forever no matter what happens. I’m not going to regret me time with you. It will always be the best experience I have. When I’m around you the feeling I get is so, I can’t even find a word for it, not even love or lovely. It’s a feeling I can’t explain. It feels like harmony.
I forgive you; you know I always will. You’re the only one I’ve ever been in love with and every moment with you feels right. I love you, Michael Le.
Thanks baby for listening to me rant. I freaking love you to death Julie Le. Nguyen*
Lol Julie Le :) Sorry I fell asleep again =/ I was texting while on my bed and it just happened. Good morning babe :) You’re not going to lose me, why do you say that?
I don’t want to keep arguing and lose you in the end. I don’t know what I would do. No one could replace you, a girl like you is impossible to find. A side of me wants to do anything you want, but the other wants to break down and cry. I need to learn and accept that I can’t see you all the time and you need me time.
I like the secondhand serenade quote :) Babe, we’re going to argue, but that’s not going to be nearly enough to break us up. Don’t break down =( There’s no need for tears :)
I love you Julie. I don’t know why but I felt like saying this before getting out of bed and starting my day
Thanks for making my heart flutter. You need to stop being good at that. I love you too :)
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