Fast & Slow

So there were a couple days where I felt like we were moving too quickly. Like..WAY too quickly. And honestly, I hated it. I didn't want to feel as though all the good things were to happen within a week and then the rest of our time together would be some routine that happened over and over. I wanted to build up the excitement; feel the chemistry for days and days and when we finally gave into each other, it would be even more worth it because it took our will power to wait. I felt like we were just experimenting again, testing each other's limits just to see how far they could be pushed. We're not supposed to develop that way, we're supposed to take it one step at a time and then take a big leap. Not pole vault every stepping stone there possibly was. I'm just very glad that yesterday we were able to talk about this and take things a lot slower. We were supposed to not kiss for a whole month, but just thinking about being around you and not doing anything about it made me want to kiss you more than ever. You always want what you can't have and if I couldn't kiss you for a month, then it made me want to kiss you that very second. If we didn't slow things down, kissing each other would be something we did that seemed obligatory and I would never want that feeling. I feel like yesterday was one of the more special nights we've spent together. We got boba and subway, then we just talked in your car for an hour about our childhood and what we did in the past. It was so rewarding to hear more about you because I don't want whatever we have to be centered around the physicality. Then, we just layed there. It wasn't inappropriate; we were just side by side, but in that moment the simplicity and beauty of it all was a feeling more than I could ask for. I feel safe, cared for, and secure whenever I'm in your arms and I don't ever want that feeling to go away.