Comfortable

I suppose this will be the first post in a while that I have actually put deep and meaningful thought into. I don't know who's going to find this or who's going to bother to read it and I'm perfectly fine if nobody ever reads it. This is for me. Anyway, I used to be the type of girl who everyone called "good" "innocent" "conservative". Used to? Yea, used to. I suppose my younger age contributed to the immaturity of my thoughts. I had frowned upon almost all things that had to do with being a couple; it just did not appeal to me at all. I didn't understand why people found it so necessary to have a significant other in their life, let alone display it for everyone to see. I was ignorant of those feelings and because of that, I was too stubborn to bother to give it a chance. Freshman year I met someone who helped me change my mind about this topic and gave me some new insight. I was still wary about giving relationships a chance, but my mind was definitely open. I guess when it happened to me, I took it as me liking any other person. And I expected myself to have high hopes which of course happened. And I expected him to say things that would make me discouraged and give up on "love" which of course happened as well. But what I did not expect was for things to be taken farther than that. I feel like a new, different person. It's weird being someone who's open and comfortable with affection since I was one in the past who looked down upon it. I didn't think being in a relationship in high school was a very good idea since it distracted you from school work and it would become more difficult to keep your priorities in check. I still think those things are true, but when you're put in the position, all your doubts go away and none of those negatives really matter anymore. It used to irritate me when people said things like "I wish I could lay in your arms forever". It sounded so exaggerated and stupid to me, but ever since things changed, it completely made sense. It's the feeling where you want someone to hold you so that you're assured that there's someone out there who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. I don't mean to sound cheesy, but once you have that feeling, everything just changes and you begin to notice yourself trying very hard to keep your thoughts together. I'm sure investing so much time into someone isn't going to be good for me in the long run, but I wouldn't trade in the days I spent with him for anything in the world. (Maybe an A in Precal? (; Just kidding.) It's the way being with you is so easy and natural that makes me feel comfortable sharing this feeling of being lost in someone with everyone else in the world.