"Where you invest your love, you invest your life." -Mumford and Sons

I don't understand you sometimes. I don't even want to do my homework anymore because of you.

Never Too Late

It's never too late to fix things. No matter how long it's been since you've talked, you can always try to start over. There is NEVER a too late. It's too late when someone dies. That's when you can't speak to each other again. If you're both alive and capable of conversing, then I say that you go for it and you say whatever you need to get off your chest.

Time to take my own advice for once...

Counting down the minutes to see you....

Hearts and Diamonds

I never thought we'd be where we are. Just one little mistake made me start feeling this way. Normally I would get over it and we would be fine again, but for some reason, a sorry won't do. Other times weren't too big of a deal so I just let it go, but this one can't slide. When you're trying to teach someone a lesson, you can't just let them off easy because you love them or because you want to give them another chance. There are only so many chances before you have to take a step back and realize what you're doing. I'm worth more than that. I should have realized that I'm more precious than the most expensive diamond in the world and that belittling myself for someone else is one of the most horrible things you can do to yourself. I only wish I realized it sooner. And now I'm left in a state of confusion. I know it's my fault, but now I'm confused as to how I feel about you. There is so much doubt in this relationship, this thing we call love. I said that I still love you, but I mean it in a way where a best friend loves a best friend. I care about you and I want you to be happy, but the spark and the magic and the love...it just isn't there anymore. I guess it's up to you, do you want to try and win my heart back? Or do you want to continue our relationship as friends? Because as of now, I can't say that I'm in love with you anymore.

Cluttered

Is it just because I'm still on my period and I'm still having mood swings? Or is it because I'm just annoyed at you because of the agument we recently had? Or is it because I'm just fed up with you right now? Or is it because my feelings for you are cluttered? I don't really know. We've been talking less nowadays because we're both so busy and it's difficult to find time to take a break and send a text. I still wish that we could text more and talk throughout the day, but sometimes, I don't even think twice about it. What does this all mean?

Curiosity

Sometimes I just want to break off our relationship so that I can see how things will turn out. I want to see how you would manage without me and how I would manage without you. I want to see if you would chase me and ask for me back or if you would let me go and not say a word. I want to know if you would continue to love me or if you would hate me for breaking your heart and move onto someone else. I want to know if it would make you cry or if you would feel indifferent about it. I want to know who you would tell first and how long it would take you to tell everybody. I want to see if either of us will be happier without each other. Sometimes I want to break up with you just so I can realize that I have to get back together with you. But no matter how mad or angry I get, I would never break up with you because it would kill me if I did.

"I don't love you like I did yesterday"

It's a Big Deal

Note: I can't believe I haven't blogged for a freaking month! That is so depressing... I guess I stopped writing on here because my time just became taken up and used on other things. I'm sorry blog. I promise I'll start writing on here more since summer is approaching

I don't think you even read this blog anymore since you just read my Tumblr now. If you don't read this anymore, that might be a good thing because then I'll really be able to let everything out without being afraid that you might say something about it. I'm about to talk to you right now actually. I told you that I need to talk to you about it, but honestly, I really don't have much to say. The only thing I can say is "I wish it didn't happen" What else am I supposed to say after that? If I plan to only say 5 words, why make it sound like a big deal by saying "I need to talk to you" because now it sounds serious. Well maybe it's because it is serious. It's because those 5 words hold so much power and and so much meaning behind them that it was necessary to elaborate on them and make the conversation sound more serious. Goodness, I don't even know if this makes sense, but that doesn't matter because this is not for reading purposes, it's for blogging purposes.

I think I just fell even more in love with you.

When you said you didn't care about anything anymore, it hurt to hear it just because I know that part of it is me.

4 hour conversations from late night til early morning? I always cherish these things between you and me

I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be feeling towards you right now.

I saw you today. I feel as though every time I see you, I reach a new level of happiness that I've never felt before. When we first hugged today I didn't want to let go for a second, your hugs are so warm and welcoming. The confinement of your arms is where I want the rest of my life to be. The feeling I get whenever I see you is so indescribable; these are times when I know we're going to last through this relationship because I know that I could never feel this way about anybody else in the world. I'm sorry if it seems like I ever doubted the strength of our relationship, I know that we're going to make it through everything.

There are so many questions I could ask him, but I won't since it won't matter because I'm with you.

Planning Ahead

Now I know exactly how you feel about planning ahead. The excitement and hard work you put into it in hopes that you and your partner will have the perfect night and experience you hoped for. All of those feelings built up just to have them shattered with a simple "I can't, I'm busy." Even though it's neither person's fault, you just feel the need to blame it on them. Even though you love them, you want to scream in their face that this was supposed to be the perfect night and how could they be so careless and insensitive not to try and reschedule their other plans? It's just how things work. Things aren't going to shape according to YOUR perfect plans, no matter how much work and dedication you put into it. I understand now baby, and I'm sorry about all the fights we got into because of this in the past. But things happen. Sometimes you can start over and sometimes that chance was the only one you had. Regardless, we still have each other and that's just about all we need.

Judgment

A LOT of people judge our relationship. They think you're too old for me or whatever. I mean come on, three years is supposed to be a big gap?! But regardless of what they think, I promise you with my whole entire heart that I will NEVER leave you just because someone has a certain opinion about us.

Words

Why do words hurt so much? Even the ones that aren't intended to hurt, do. Can somebody please make this heartache go away.

Okay, seriously?

Forced

Where are you when I need you the most? It's like you don't even care. You say that I can come to you and talk to you about anything, but sometimes I feel like I can't bring up certain things with you. I don't know, I feel like yesterday and today have all been completely fake. Of course there are things said that we mean with each other, but aside from that, the small talk sounds forced. It's sad to think that you can't come to the one person you should trust the most with everything you want to.